Here I am again, laying on my bed, on my pajamas, hugging my Teddy-Bear and writing a blog entry. It has been 5 months since I wrote my last entry.
Right now, I'm in Singapore, back with my family.
Unfortunately I had to ex-matriculate myself from the University in Dresden, Germany, because I failed some exams. So I planned to move to Singapore and hopefully I can transfer my credits here or back home in Jakarta. Oh well...sh*t happens.
(Source: Tumblr)
So yah... here I am, still waiting for acceptance letter from the Universities I applied for.
It has been a rough start of 2016. My academic life didn't go that well, but I'm not losing hope. I know that there must be a way..some way..a path that I can walk through that leads me to a place that's called the "Finish Line".
However, my parents (specially my mom) sometimes "complains" that I still don't have my degree and still job-less. Although they do support me and are always there trough thick and thin, my mom sometimes compare me with my other friends (who are as old as me) or cousins (younger than me) who already have a degree and a job...and even who are already married.
Sometimes my mom keeps saying that on my age, she already got married to my dad and one year later she already had me. I replied with that one sentence that nowadays kids always use to defend themselves in these kind of situations.. "oh please...that was years ago, we live in another era, things changed!!"
But my mom is actually right. At this age (I'm almost 24), people do already have their degree, job and even are already married. Most of my friends in Indonesia are already working and some of them are already married...and have kids...2 or even 3.
Then again, I don't live in Indonesia. I spent my life moving from countries to countries, I'm a TCK (Third-Culture-Kid) and I spent my half of my life living with western (european) - culture. In eastern/asian culture, let's say Indonesia, most people will go straight to college after high-school. I notice that in Europe, let's say Germany, people are likely to take a gap-year or do internship somewhere before they go to college. So in Indonesia, it seems like people (should) start going to college by the time they are 18 or 19 and graduate by the time they are 22 or 23, while in Germany, it doesn't matter when you want to go to college. When I started college in Germany, there are some classmates who are older than the rest of us and it's perfectly normal. My German friends told me that age doesn't matter. Yes for them, but No in Indonesia, because age does matter...especially when you are applying for jobs. So age does play a big role. In Germany, age doesn't play a big role in job applications, but they do play a big role in Indon
However, deep inside, I do compare myself to my friends in Indonesia. Most of them are already working, getting engaged and getting married...which makes me kinda depressed...cz I still don't have my sh*t together.
I DON'T HAVE A DEGREE, I DON'T HAVE A JOB AND I HAVEN'T DATED ANYONE.
I am Degree-less and still struggling to graduate...as soon as possible
(Source: Tumblr)
I have no (and never had one) job...cz I haven't finished college yet and I'm already in my mid 20's
(Source: Tumblr)
and...
I'm Date-less. NEVER dated anyone!!
I don't know why but I really never dated anyone. Nobody has ever asked me out or told me that they like me either...and every time I have a crush on someone, it'll never go well...it'll end with me getting hurt...it has always been like that...ALWAYS.
At this age of life...my friends are posting pictures of them with their boyfriends or girlfriends and how happy they are and how they are planning their wedding and blah blah blah...
To be honest it gets on my nerves, because I feel JEALOUS. Yes...JEALOUS! How can people in their mid 20's already have a couple of dates, while I NEVER HAD A SINGLE ONE?! LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!!
Seeing all my squad-friends are getting into a steady relationship one by one makes me even more desperate, cz I'm the one in the group who is still single and never ever dated anyone.
SERIOUSLY...I am almost 24 and I NEVER DATED ANY ONE...EVER!
To cheer myself up, I always tell myself that I don't need a boyfriend...yet. Cz I'm still young and I still want to have fun and focus on my studies and career.
Anywaaayy...no matter how "messed-up" my life is right now, I'm still thankful for what I have; my family, my friends and unlimited access to the internet. I believe that one day I'll have it all figured out together...somehow.
(Source: popsugar)
.Sha.
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