Entry No. 7 - What It's Like To Be A Third-Culture-Kid

(NOTE: everything I wrote down is based on my own experience and through reading some articles from different sources for further support.)

Third-Culture-Kid or TCK is an individual who has spent a significant part of their developmental years in a culture other than their parents' culture. "TCK builds relationship to all cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background." - David C. Pollock.

(Source: denizenmag)

For example, they are the kids of business-people, "army-brat", diplomats and missionaries.

In my case, I'm an embassy-kid. I spent my life moving with my parents to several different countries. Until today, I have moved and lived in 7 different countries. 

So let's go down to business, "What it is like to be a TCK" as told by Me.

1. Obviously, you get to see the world from young age.

Not only the countries where your parents is/are currently working, but also it's neighbor-countries that you visit for holidays or small-trips.

2. You learn different languages.  

You know songs in different languages, you know bedtime stories or fairy-tales in different languages and of course, you know how to swear in at least 5 different languages. (They are the words you always wanna learn first..)

3. You learn different cultures that opens your mind to different religious and political views.

Living in different countries teaches you not only their language, but also their lifestyle, religious and political views. You will notice that some (local) people will treat you differently from others and you know the reason behind it. You'll find it hard to put up with in the beginning but you'll get used to it in the end. However, trough this, you become more tolerant and you know how to interact with different kind of people.

4. You easily adapt to new surroundings.

As you constantly move from countries to countries, you are used to adapt yourself to new people and surroundings and you are not afraid of changes...you actually need to change every couple of time (well, at least I do). Because I always move every couple of years to a new country, I do feel that I need to move somewhere new when I feel like it, because I can't stay in one place for too long...I'll get bored easily.

5. You have to take one deep breath before explaining to people when they ask you why you move to the country you're currently in (cz it's going to be a loooooooong story).

The question that people always ask me that leads to these kind questions is "How come you speak so perfect American-English? Have you lived there before?" Then I'll answer with "No, I just went to several International Schools and moved a lot with my parents."

Well yes, people always notice my American-English accent and always ask if I have lived there before. From there, it'll always end up with me telling them that looong looooong story about me moving around the world and the reason behind it.

6. You will always be the new-kid at school.

The worst part is when you have to move in the middle of first term / second term (basically before the school year ends). You have to leave your school and move to a new school which probably has different curriculum and teaching-style. You also have to catch-up with your new classes/subjects.

Finding friends was a hard thing to do when you were younger, but as you grow older, finding friends at school wasn't a big problem for you anymore.

7. You'll either be loved or bullied for that.

I didn't always go to an International-School. My parents thought it was better for me to attend local school so I can learn the language easier and I can socialize with local (and non TCK) students. As an example, when I was in Norway, my parents sent me to a private Preschool. Everything was taught and done in English. As the result, I couldn't play with the kids in my neighborhood as they were all Norwegian. My parents felt sorry for me cz I had no friends and I always stayed at home and played with no one beside my barbie-dolls, teddy bears and Furby. So when it was time for me to go to Elementary-School, my parents put me to a local school, where I learnt Norwegian and made friends with the other kids. After a couple of months, I was already at my neighbor's house, playing, having tea-parties, watching movies and sleepovers.

However, things doesn't always go right. Being the new kid wasn't always easy. When I was somewhere in Europe (not gonna tell you where), I was bullied a couple of time for being the only Asian in the class. They bullied me, called me names, they smeared chocolate on my bed cover (it was during class field-trip) and said that I made a dump in bed (Yes, it was that bad!).

Back home in Indonesia, things was not easy as well. They called me a bit*h, they thought that I was conceited and super cocky, and someone even back-stabbed me because she taught I was trying to steal her popularity. (WTF, I know right?!).

8. You have friends from all over of the world.

However, when you know how to chose people to be your friend because they sincerely like you, love you and want to be your friends, you surely will find one..or two..or more than that. And you spend a lot of times online, talking to your friends, because you always have someone to talk to, and there's always someone who is up when it's currently 3 a.m. where you are.

9. You don't have that "ever-lasting-friendship" like in the movies.

Although I do have best-friends, I don't have one that I know since kindergarten that I grew up together with. Sometimes, I do dream of having those kind of friendship like in the movies, where you grow up together with and do a lot of weird and crazy things together and your parents know each other well. My childhood best-friend is now somewhere I don't know cz we lost contact when I had to move out of the country (I was 5 at that time).

10. You have to live with "Hellos and Goodbyes"
You are used to Hellos and Goodbyes. When you have to move somewhere new, you have to say goodbye to your friends and say hello to new people who became your friends whom one day you'll say goodbye to. It's always been like that and it'll never end...until you get a job and live by yourself.

11. You are somewhat different from your non-TCK friends.
The way you think is different from your non-TCK friends. You have other POV (point of view) and opinions towards things. Sometimes your friends won't get you and you have to fight for what you believe in by yourself.

12. You freaked-out when you meet other TCKs. 
You'll freaked out cz you know that you can be great friends...you both know how it feels to be a TCK and you'll probably have a similar stories that you can share with and you'll definitely understand each other well.

13. You've tried many tasty and exotic national cuisine...and you know it's recipe.

YAAASSS... You know delicious dishes and desserts and you know how to cook/bake it...cz you've been to your friends place and their mom will serve zillion tasty national menus. Vice-versa, when they come to your place, you will also introduce them with your national dishes, especially when your mom is a master at cooking (like my mom)!

14. You don't have a place that you can call "home"as you constantly move in and out !!
Boxes are your friends and you know how to put your entire house in a couple of boxes. However, the sad thing is you don't have a room that you can decorate with fancy and cool stuffs cz you'll leave again soon.

15. But you can say that you left a piece of your heart in each country that you lived in.

Although you don't have a place that you can call "home", you can say that you left a piece your heart in every place you lived...and you can always come back one day cz there are people you know who will always open their door for you. (Good thing is, you don't have to spend a lot of money for hotels when you're on vacation. Your parents will always have a friend who will let you stay over at their place.)

16. You get to attend cool-fancy social events. 

My parents always get invitations to fancy events, like for example diplomatic-receptions, events at the embassy (your embassy or other country's embassy) or even invitation to a dinner with famous people (artist, politicians, etc.). Sometimes, you can also get to attend cool events held by all embassies in the country you currently live in. I remember when I was in Korea, we had this "International Night" where every representative countries can perform any type of arts (dance, songs, music, etc.) and at the end, all children from all country sang "Heal the World" by Michael Jackson as a choir. In Czech Rep., I remember that every December, the embassies will collaborate together to open a Christmas-bazaar for public. These events will not only give you the opportunity to attend fancy events, but also helps you create a bond with more people.

17. Your closet is filled with formal and semi-formal outfits.
Since you get to attend fancy events, you always have to dress either formally or semi-formal. My closet is filled with formal and semi-formal outfits...and it becomes my daily outfit. A lot of my school-friends told me that I dress like I'm going to a prep-school cz I always wear either blouse and blazer, skirts or dresses. I never wear T-shirt and rarely wear jeans, but if I do, it's always dark-colored and I'll match it with blouse and blazer. (Blazer is my signature outfit.)

18. YOU REPRESENT YOUR COUNTRY!
This is the most important part of being a TCK, REPRESENTING your country. Having the opportunity to learn new cultures is also an opportunity to expose your own culture...simply "give and take". I love to learn new languages and cultures, but I also can't forget about my own culture that I grew up with (even only a little bit). Having the opportunity moving in and out with my parents is an opportunity to tell the world how awesome my country is.

So yeah...that was 18 points of how it's like to be a TCK as told by me. Maybe not all points are the same with other TCKs, but this is how I see it.

Thanks for visiting my blog and spending your time reading this.

Cheers!

.Sha.